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"You have to write a column about Cammie," pleaded my wife. "We have to find a good home for her."
"Absolutely not. My column is a forum for serious issues, not for advertising to adopt your favorite foster kitten."
So today we shall take a peek at conflicts between European nation-states of the 18th Century. For the past month I have slogged through a 700-page tome ("The Pursuit of Glory: Europe 1648-1815" by Tim Blanning). What I've learned is that Europe was a complete bat-poop mess back then. No wonder Americans hated kings and nobility. It may have been the Age of Enlightenment for philosophy, reason, science and the arts, but the kings occupied themselves with raising armies to fight over bits of territory like Silesia and Moldavia and Transylvania (which we know today was full of monsters and vampires, and who would even want that?)
I feel sorry for the author, Mr. Blanning. He worked very hard for years on his book, which for the most part was a confusing attempt to explain that the Habsburg Monarchy and the Holy Roman Empire were two different things except that they were same thing.
French quip-meister Voltaire's assessment of the Holy Roman Empire: it "was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire." Good one. I also really enjoyed reading about Frederick the Great and the other kings of Prussia, all of whom were named Frederick.
However, in all those 700 pages I found not one mention of cats, which I knew must have played
I had to go to the internet to learn that French King Louis XV loved Angora cats and allowed them the run of the Palace of Versailles, while his grandson, Louis XVI, used them for target practice. He was beheaded in the French Revolution. Serves him right. (His queen, Marie Antoinette, could not manage to save herself, but, a suspect account states that her friends had a friendly ship's captain smuggle her prized possessions and Maine Coon cat to the state of Maine in America, where she hoped to escape to. Hence the breed is called Maine Coon. Seems a bit too cute.)
Queen Victoria was a serious cat lady. French statesman Cardinal Richelieu kept 14 cats. Even in No-Kings America cats figured in politics: during a formal White House dinner Abraham Lincoln fed his cat Tabby from the table with a golden fork. Lincoln said his other cat, Dixie, was smarter than his entire cabinet.
“There are two means of refuge from the misery of life: music and cats,” is a quote I found attributed to both Albert Schweitzer and Albert Einstein.
In a week my wife will return the last three fostered kittens to the animal shelter, and she is frantic to find someone to adopt her favorite, a sweet little female the shelter named Chamomile but we call Cammie. The other two fosters we still have are females and typical active kittens, nice and well socialized, but not the cuddler that Cammie is.
My wife has faithfully nursed this trio for weeks through a ringworm infection, and the pound is to take them back next week. If they pass a final culture test, they will be put up for adoption next week.
Please, somebody, take a tip from Louis XV, Abraham Lincoln, and two smart guys named Albert. Life's hard, but a cuddle kitten like Cammie can make every day a little better.
(Fred Miller's books of stories are $10, available locally at Calcutta Giant Eagle, Pottery City Antique Mall, Museum of Ceramics, Frank's Pastries, Davis Bros. pharmacies, and the Old Ft. Steuben gift shop.)